Do those around you seem to be defensive, insecure, disconnected and/or closed down? Rather than label and blame, maybe first hold up a mirror and ask yourself: What am I “putting out there”?
Getting to know yourself and proactively seeking to understand the trail (or wake) you create with which everyone else around you has to deal, can be one of the most life-changing things one can do.
It ultimately creates more personal power rather than being stuck in drama, strife, and turmoil.
Without knowing thy self, our insecurities get the best of us and our egos rule the day. We leak out and all over those who are trying to help, follow, support. Overtime, boast all you want about your success… but are you respected, loved and happy?
The higher you want to go in your career, the more success you want to achieve, the greater joy you want to have, the expanded respect you want to earn, the more important it is to understand yourself. Otherwise, your insecurities will ultimately control your actions, words, approach and outcomes in life.
Without a certain level of personal enlightenment in life, we stay immature and ego-driven, which translates into the need to be right, talking about others, in control, tough, and victorious at all costs, when actually what works best is being human, approachable, listening, and willing to adapt whatever approach/stance will work best.
Talk, boast, spin things and convince yourself whatever you desire. The truth is that the quality of our relationship with ourselves dictates how we inter-relate with everyone around us. Period. Those that are loudest ARE usually the most insecure, just as those who are the poorest usually talk about money most.
Confidence is from knowing oneself and trust that any situation can be “handled” despite fear. Confidence is the ability to lean in and be more compassionate (for self and others) in every situation rather than over compensating and covering up. Confidence is not being reactionary, boastful, or defensive — it is actually closer to being generous and kind.
A final thought from Lao Tzu:
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”